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I hope you find something here to comfort your grieving heart. Please visit any time.
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KINDRED SPIRITS
No heaven will not ever heaven be
Unless my cats are there to welcome me.
Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
On this page...
The Fragile Circle of Life: Grieving the Death of Your Pet
You Are Not Alone
Children and Pet Loss
Will I See My Pet Again?
Remembering
Should I Get Another Pet? The Fragile Circle Comes 'Round
Kindred Spirits: Pet Loss Poetry
In Memoriam-Leo: A Yellow Cat (And His Answer)
The Rainbow Bridge
Request from the Rainbow Bridge
Is Euthanasia the Right Choice?
Solo's Legacy
How Old Is Your Cat In Human Years?
Bibliography / Recommended Reading
Pet Loss Links
Although my cat companions join me in city life, I also love dogs. I grew up on a large Angus cattle farm and Border Collies tended the herd. They were intelligent, loyal, playful and endlessly affectionate.
I have had the privilege of knowing cats, dogs, horses, sheep, goats, cows, donkeys, mules, ducks, chickens, parakeets and rabbits. And so, to all creatures great and small, I say thank you for enriching my life. I'll see you again on the Rainbow Bridge.
The word pet comes from the Middle English word pety meaning small, trivial or insignificant. For centuries, pets were considered inferior to humans. For this reason, some animal rights activists suggest that we eliminate the word pet from our vocabulary and use the phrase companion animal instead. But pet can also mean cherished, beloved and favored. It is in this sense of love and respect that I use the word here.
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If your pet is missing, please click Lost or Stolen Pets: What Can I Do?
The link takes you to an article on my other web site.
Plese use your back button to return here.
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THE FRAGILE CIRCLE OF LIFE:
Grieving the Death of Your Pet
We who choose to surround ourselves with lives even more temporary than our own, live within a fragile circle, easily and often breached. Unable to accept its awful gaps, we still would live no other way. Irving Townsend
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The simple joy that companion animals bring to our lives is priceless. Our pets cheer us, comfort us, delight us, sustain us and love us without condition. Our family of pets is a fragile circle of life. Dogs and cats live a dozen years or so. Horses average two decades, maybe a little more. Smaller animals may grace our lives for a year or less. We will outlive our companion animals and their deaths will break our hearts. If we continue to live with pets, we will experience this grief many times.
The sadness we feel when a beloved pet dies is natural. It is part of the pain that comes with losing someone we love. But pet loss is often made more painful because others do not understand how deep the attachment to a pet can be. We hear, "Well, he was just a dog," or "You can always get another cat." What these insensitive people fail to understand is that we had a strong and loving relationship with our beloved friend.
The opinion of others is not important during this difficult time. We alone know how devoted our animal friend was. No matter what our mood or appearance, our pet was always there for us: always forgiving, always loyal, always loving. No wonder the pain of loss is so great. We have lost a member of our immediate family.
If you ever find yourself questioning the validity of your deep grief over the death of your beloved pet because there is, after all, so much tragedy in the world, please remember these words below. They come from On Grief and Grieving by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross and David Kessler and appear on page 30 of that wonderful book:
When you compare losses, someone else’s may seem greater or lesser than your own, but all losses are painful...Losses are very personal and comparisons never apply. No loss counts more than another. It is your loss that counts for you. It is your loss that affects you.
Your loss is deep and deserves your personal attention without comparison. You are the only one who can survey the magnitude of your loss. No one will ever know the meaning of what was shared, the deepness of the void that shadows your future. You alone know your loss...
...Your task in your own mourning and grieving is to fully recognize your own loss, to see it as only you can. In paying the respect and taking the time it deserves, you bring integrity to the deep loss that is yours. (end of quote)
The circumstances of the death can also add to our heartache. If our beloved companion dies without warning, as with accident or sudden onset illness, we can berate ourselves for our carelessness: How did this happen? What symptoms did I miss? What could I have done to prevent it?
Sometimes we are caring for a pet because a family member has died and the animal is left without a home. Not only does the pet become a friend over time, but the bond represents a living, loving connection to our deceased loved one. When this cherished companion dies, sorrow may intensify as we grieve anew for our other losses.
Grief is an expression of our love for the dear one who has died and none of us experiences the death of a beloved pet in the same way. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. Whatever helps you cope, whatever eases your pain, whatever brings you peace—these are the right ways to express your sorrow.
No one can tell us how long or in what manner we should grieve, but there are stages of grief that we will likely pass through: shock and denial, anger, depression and finally, acceptance. The stages of grief are difficult to bear, but they are all part of the natural reaction to loss.
As most of us discover, however, we do not go through the stages in a neat, step-by-step way. Our emotions can be all over the place because grief is messy. The order and duration of each stage of grief varies depending on our circumstances.
Consider, too, that each member of your family had a different relationship with the departed pet. Each member will have a different reaction to the loss. The important thing is that you all accept your feelings for what they are and find ways to express them.
If you have other pets, you may find that they are also grieving. Signs of companion animal grief include listlessness, a refusal to eat or drink, yowling, whimpering, frequent meowing, or wandering from room to room. You can help your surviving pet grieve by showing him extra attention and care during this painful time.
One of the most agonizing decisions we will ever make is authorizing euthanasia. Even if the pet has suffered a long time, we may doubt ourselves afterward: Was it the right thing to do? When you find yourself questioning your actions, it is important to recall the circumstances that led up to the decision: Could your pet recover from the illness or injury? Was your pet's condition deteriorating? Was the course irreversible? Did your beloved pet experience more pain than pleasure in life? Did you choose quality of life over quantity of years?
Ending the life of a suffering animal is the loving, compassionate, unselfish thing to do. It is the final act of caring. Your friend closed his eyes for the last time knowing that his trust in you was well placed. He was always safest in your care. In the end, you loved him enough to set him free.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE
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One of the greatest healers of grief is time, but time heals only if we allow ourselves to grieve and feel the emotions of sadness, anger, anguish or depression. When we are in the midst of grief, we cannot imagine ever feeling better, but trust that the rawness of fresh grief will subside if we allow for its full expression.
Although we may always feel sadness, we know we are healing when the memories of our cherished companion brings us joy and causes us to smile in fond recollection. The time it takes to heal, however, is individual.
Support is available from several sources. Your veterinarian can answer questions and reassure you about your decisions. Pour your heart out to an understanding friend. Read a message board, chat online, or join a pet loss support group such as the ones you will find listed at griefhealing.com.
Or, you can find support by phone. The goal of a pet loss hotline is to help you understand that you are not alone. It is important to talk about the loss and express your sorrow. Never be embarrassed for having strong grief feelings over the death of your beloved pet. While the trained staff members won’t take your pain away, they can comfort you because they are very good listeners.
IAMS PET LOSS SUPPORT CENTER AND HELP LINE
1-888-332-7738 (toll-free)
Monday – Friday, 8 AM – 5 PM EST
Or, read more at the IAMS web site from my links at the bottom of this page:
The Death of a Pet: Coping with the Loss of a Loved One
CHILDREN AND PET LOSS
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The death of a pet is often a child’s first experience with grief and loss. Children need to know that it is OK to feel sad and cry. They also need to be encouraged to share their feelings so that worries and anxieties can be brought out into the open.
Children perceive death differently at various ages. Toddlers believe that death is a temporary separation and the pet is gone a while but will be back. From ages three to five, children view death as reversible, meaning they can play dead for a time but pop back to life. Not until about age six (ages five to nine) do children sense the permanence of death, but they aren’t yet convinced that it comes to all living things.
Children around the age of ten have the emotional and mental capacity to understand the finality of death. All children handle honesty better than deception. Telling a child that the deceased dog is “asleep” may make the child afraid to go to sleep for fear that he, too, will die.
After losing a pet that they love, children may experience the same sorrow as adults but be unable to express it. Children need honesty from adults, reassurance that they are loved no matter how they feel and opportunities to express their feelings through creative outlets like drawing, stories or scrapbooks. They also need the opportunity to say good-bye and to know that they were in no way responsible for the death of the pet.
You can most help your grieving child by talking about how fortunate your family has been to have such a special pet. Nothing can take away the loving memories. They will be yours forever.
Replacing a pet too quickly sends a message to your child that losing something you love is of no great importance because you can always replace the one you have lost. If they see that a much-loved pet is easily replaced, they may worry that they are replaceable, too. When children have time to grieve the death of a pet, they learn that although losing something they love is painful, sorrow passes and joy becomes a part of their lives again.
WILL I SEE MY PET AGAIN?
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To paraphrase Mark Twain, if there are no cats in heaven, then heaven is a place I do not want to be. Many people have pondered the question: Will I see my pet again? We all must search for our own answers, but I will share mine.
It takes years for humans to develop kindness and compassion for others, but animals seem to be born with these qualities. Perhaps this is why they don’t live as long as people do: they are already spiritual perfection, put here to teach us lessons about loving without condition.
After we die, I believe that we humans are surrounded by everything that we love. If I have loved animals in this life, it only makes sense that they will be with me after death. How can it be any other way? I believe my Rainbow Bridge will be very crowded and I look forward to the happy reunions.
*Please visit Soulful Signs to explore the possibility of after-death communication with your pets. Once there, click Merlin's Gift.
REMEMBERING
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During their lives, we loved our pets. After their deaths, we can affirm this love. Finding ways to remember and honor our departed pets assists in the grieving process because grief rituals help us acknowledge and mourn the loss. They also symbolize what we cherish and want to keep in our hearts. Grief rituals bring us comfort as we commemorate the lives of our companion animals.
Take a day off work, or part of a day, to honor your pet. If you need a reason, tell the truth by explaining that your best friend has died and you are grieving. You may want to have a candle light ceremony and recite poetry or prayer, plant a tree or rose bush in your pet’s honor, place a personalized memorial marker in your garden, volunteer at an animal shelter, display photos of your pet, create a scrapbook of memories, write a poem, draw, paint a picture or make a donation to a humane organization. When my beloved cat Sam died, I gave money to the shelter where I first met him as a tiny kitten.
One of the loveliest ideas for remembering another dear companion came from the veterinarian who helped him on his final journey: After Merlin died, the vet took a clay impression of my cat's huge paw. Before the clay dried, he pierced a hole in the impression with a toothpick so that a ribbon could slip through the top. I used a deep yellow ribbon to symbolize Merlin's golden fur. The paw print is among my most cherished ornaments. It reminds me of Merlin’s majesty and loving nature every time I look at it.
You can also observe Pet Memorial Day on the second Sunday in September. Grief rituals are deeply personal. Please follow inner guidance.
The Pet Memorial Day link is from the HSUS site and does not open a new window. Use your back button to return here.
A PRAYER OF REMEMBRANCE
Adapted from Songs, Blessings and Rituals for the Home
Creator of the Universe, We turn to you in prayer at this time of remembrance. The link of life that bound us to __________ has been broken, but feelings of love continue. We give thanks for the gift of __________’s life, companionship and memory. Help us to understand how our lives have been formed and shaped by what __________ was and did. May his/her memory be a blessing. As long as we live, they too will live, for they are part of us as long as we remember them.
SHOULD I GET ANOTHER PET?
The Fragile Circle Comes 'Round
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The decision to get another pet varies with each person. Some people get another pet immediately because they do not want to be alone. Other people take their time and may wait weeks or months before adopting a new pet. Still others do not get another companion animal because the pain of loss is too great or the thought of grieving again is too much to bear.
Of course we can never replace the pet that died. Just as every person is an individual, every pet has his own personality. For me, the love that I have for the animals in my life can never be replaced and I don’t want to replace it. I have had a unique and personal relationship with each and every one of my animal friends. After a time, however, I find that my heart has the capacity for new love to grow.
Grief is the price we pay for loving. Through all the tears and sadness comes one thought that makes us smile again: we deeply loved a particular animal and that love was returned to us a thousand-fold. The one who waits for us on the other side will always hold a special place in our hearts, a place that no other animal can fill.
The pain of losing a beloved animal may raise questions about adopting another pet. Will the broken heart ever dare to risk loving an animal again? But when we are ready, the heart will accept another pet into the fragile circle and we will love once more.
In the natural cycle of life, the fragile circle expands, contracts and expands again. As we welcome another companion animal into our homes and hearts, we will begin to understand that love is the strongest force in the universe. Through our pets, living and dead, we experience unconditional love firsthand and that is their greatest gift to us in the fragile circle of life.
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KINDRED SPIRITS:
PET LOSS POETRY
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The following poems are dedicated to all the Kindred Spirits from the magnificent animal kingdom who have blessed our lives with their presence and now wait for us on the Rainbow Bridge.
ODE TO I CHING
By Tony D'Agnese
Close your eyes now,
my longtime friend,
and let this
time of suffering
come to a peaceful end.
We'll walk together
soon, I'm sure,
as winter turns to spring,
when snow gives way
to budding leaves
and birds begin to sing.
The gentle breeze
shall call your name
along the water's edge.
For what you meant
and what we shared
shall never be forgot.
Your friendship spans
the years behind,
your memory ahead.
You'll always be
there next to me,
companion and good friend.
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AUTHOR UNKNOWN:
...I shall see beauty
but none to match your living grace.
I shall hear music
but none as sweet as the droning song
with which you loved me.
I shall fill my days
but I shall not, cannot forget.
Sleep soft, dear friend...
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FOR KATRINA’S SUNDIAL
Henry van Dyke
Time is
Too slow for those who wait,
Too swift for those who fear,
Too long for those who grieve,
Too short for those who rejoice.
But for those who love,
Time is eternity.
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Untitled
By Edwin Arnold
Farewell, master, yet not farewell
Where I go, ye too shall dwell
I am gone, before your face
A moment’s time, a little space
When ye come where I have stepped
Ye will wonder why ye wept.
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DUCHESS
By Jean Foster
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I was young!
I ran like the wind and
The world glistened, fresh and new
With each season.
Colorful leaves raced across the lawn,
Crisp and elusive.
Snowflakes danced in howling winds,
But winter posed no threat.
I was young!
Each season blended into the next,
And each displayed its beauty.
The years passed.
Your joys were mine, as were your sorrows;
Our love grew in understanding and
I served you faithfully.
Now, out of your love for me
I ask you courage.
I am old!
My sight has dimmed.
I no longer greet each season with joy.
I cannot run and my body knows pain.
So have the wisdom, dear friend, out of love,
To bid me farewell, and send me on my way with dignity.
And cherish each season that we shared,
For they are eternity.
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AUTHOR UNKNOWN:
You fought hard to stay alive, my friend.
In the end, though, you couldn’t conquer death.
But neither did death conquer you.
Death cures all diseases, mends all broken bones,
Breaks all chains.
And made you free at last.
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Pass to thy Rendezvous of Light,
Pangless except for us--
Who slowly ford the Mystery
Which thou hast leaped across!
Emily Dickinson
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MY LITTLE CAT GHOST
By Lynette Combs
The years I've worn you,
warm upon my shoulder,
ended here...
surprised to find us older.
And there was nothing
left to do today
but hold you close
and help you on your way.
Be still, my little cat,
Be well; be free.
I know that you are somewhere near,
and loving me.
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WHERE TO BURY A DOG
By Den Ilur Lampanon
…there is one place that is best of all.
If you bury him in this spot,
the secret of which you already have,
he will come to you when you call—
come to you over the grim, dim frontiers of death,
and down the well-remembered path,
and to your side again.
And though you will call a dozen living dogs to heel
they shall not growl at him, nor resent his coming,
for he is yours and he belongs there.
People may scoff at you,
who see no lightest blade of grass bent by his footfall,
who hear no whimper pitched too fine for audition,
people who may never really have had a dog.
Smile at them, for you shall know something
that is hidden from them,
and which is well worth knowing.
The best place to bury a dog
is in the heart of his master.
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IN MEMORIAM-LEO: A YELLOW CAT
By Margaret Pollock Sherwood
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If to your twilight land of dream-
Persephone, Persephone,
Drifting with all your shadow host-
Dim sunlight comes, with sudden gleam
And you lift veiled eyes to see
Slip past a little golden ghost,
That wakes a sense of springing flowers,
Of nesting birds, of lambs reborn,
Of spring astir in quickening hours,
And young blades of Demeter's corn;
For joy of that sweet glimpse of sun,
Oh, Goddess of unnumbered dead,
Give one soft touch-if only one-
To that uplifted, pleading head!
Whisper some kindly word, to bless
A wistful soul who understands
That life is but one long caress
Of gentle words and gentle hands.
LEO TO HIS MISTRESS (AN ANSWER)
By Henry Dwight Sedgwick
Dear Mistress, do not grieve for me
Even in such sweet poetry.
Alas! It is too late for that,
No mistress can recall her cat.
Eurydice remained a shade
Despite the music Orpheus played;
And pleasures here outlast, I guess,
Your earthly transitoriness.
You serious denizens of Earth
Know nothing of Elysian mirth;
With other shades I play or doze
And wash, and stretch, or rub my nose.
I hunt for mice, or take a nap
Safe in Iphigenia's lap.
At times I bite Achilles' heel
To learn if shadow heroes squeal,
And should he turn to do me hurt,
I hide beneath Cassandra's skirt.
But should he smile, no creature bolder,
I lightly bounce upon his shoulder,
Then leap to fair Electra's knee
Or scamper with Antigone.
I chase the rolling woolen ball
Penelope has just let fall,
Or crouch when Meleager's cheer
Awakes the shades of trembling deer.
I grin when Stygian boys, beguiled,
Stare after Helen, Ruin's child;
Or should these placid pastimes fail
I play with Cerberus's tail.
At last I purr and spit and spatter
When kind Demeter fills my platter.
And yet, in spite of all of this,
I sometimes yearn for earthly bliss,
To hear you calling "Leo!" when
The glorious sun awakens men;
Or hear your "Good night, Pussy" sound
When starlight falls on mortal ground;
Then, in my struggles to get free,
I almost scratch Persephone.
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Author Unknown
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There is a bridge connecting heaven and earth. It is called the Rainbow Bridge because of its many colors. Just this side of the Rainbow Bridge there is a land of meadows, hills and valleys with lush green grass.
When a beloved pet dies, the pet goes to this place. There is always food and water and warm spring weather. The old and frail animals are young again. They play all day with each other.
There is only one thing missing. They are not with their special person who loved them on earth. So, each day they run and play until the day comes when one suddenly stops playing and looks up. The nose twitches! The ears are up! The eyes are bright! And this one suddenly runs from the group.
You have been seen and when you and your special friend meet, you take him or her in your arms and embrace. Your face is kissed again and again and again, and you look once more into the eyes of your trusting pet.
Then you cross the Rainbow Bridge together, never again to be separated.
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REQUEST FROM THE RAINBOW BRIDGE
By Constance Jenkins
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Weep not for me though I am gone
Into that gentle night.
Grieve if you will, but not for long
Upon my soul's sweet flight.
I am at peace, my soul's at rest,
There is no need for tears.
For with your love I was so blessed
For all those many years.
There is no pain, I suffer not,
The fear now all is gone.
Put now these things out of your thoughts.
In your memory I live on.
Remember not my fight for breath,
Remember not the strife.
Please do not dwell upon my death,
But celebrate my life.
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IS EUTHANASIA THE RIGHT CHOICE?
Making the Decision to Euthanize Your Pet
Like all vets I hated doing this, painless though it was, but to me there has always been a comfort in the knowledge that the last thing these helpless animals knew was the sound of a friendly voice and the touch of a gentle hand.
From All Things Wise and Wonderful by James Herriot
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Pets enter into our lives and hearts and become part of the family. Over the next twelve years or so we probably experience many changes. These changes are as varied as life itself but may include such things as children leaving home or the death of a loved one. But through it all, if we’re lucky, our pets are there for us as a source of comfort. Then comes the dreadful news: our beloved companion has an incurable disease.
Sometimes the decision to euthanize must be made quickly, as with traumatic injuries after an accident. When death comes without warning, there is no time to absorb the shock. Most often, however, you have some time to discuss treatment options with your veterinarian. It is always heartbreaking to get a bleak diagnosis, but with just a little bit of time on your side, you have a chance to say goodbye to a great friend who has enriched your life.
It is common for grief to begin with the fatal diagnosis. These sad feelings before your pet’s death are called anticipatory grief—the grief before grief. Anticipatory grief helps you prepare for when death occurs; but the extent to which you can prepare for your beloved pet’s death is unknown. Because anticipatory grief becomes more intense as the loss approaches, it is important to discuss euthanasia with your veterinarian and not delay the decision too long. You can also enlist the support of friends and family to comfort you at this difficult time.
One of the hallmarks of grief is a feeling of helplessness. It is human to want someone else to make the decision for you to euthanize your pet. Your veterinarian’s job is to provide information and guidance about your pet’s changing condition and to offer you compassionate understanding of your agony. The decision to end your pet’s life, however, is yours to make.
The choice to euthanize your pet may be one of the hardest you will ever make, but a natural death, letting nature take its course, can be painful and prolonged. Often people are able to accept the death of a beloved companion, but have great difficulty with being the one who must decide when that death will occur.
Let the following questions guide you as you answer the painful question: Is euthanasia the right choice for my pet?
Is there a reasonable chance for cure?
If there is no cure, can symptoms be managed? In other words, is my pet's comfort a realistic goal?
How much additional time might treatment give?
What will be the quality of my pet’s time if I choose treatment?
Do I have the financial resources to handle long-term veterinary care?
Do I have the emotional stamina necessary for my pet’s long illness or permanent condition?
Is my relationship with my pet decreasing in quality as I anticipate this loss?
How many of my pet’s usual activities are still possible?
Make a list and review it on a regular basis.
Is my pet suffering?
Does my pet still enjoy anything about his life?
What do I believe my pet wants me to do?
If I were in my pet’s place, what would I want?
What am I unwilling or unable to tolerate? Write a contract with yourself knowing that you can always change your mind.
Think about the future. Ask yourself how you will look back and remember this experience.
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Once you make the decision to euthanize, there are some steps you can take to ease the anguish for you and your beloved companion.
Take the time to say goodbye. Assure your pet through words and actions how much you love him or her. No one really knows how much a dog or cat understands (my guess is more than we suspect) but by speaking to them gently and explaining very simply what lies ahead—one shot, followed by drowsiness, then relief from pain and rest for a weary body—they can certainly intuit the love and caring behind the words.
You can let your companion animal know that he (or she) is going to a place with no struggle or suffering. You can tell him how much you love him, how much you will miss him and that he will always be with you in your heart. As you hug and hold him, you can thank him for being such a wonderful and loyal friend. And if it is comfortable for you, tell your beloved friend that you will meet again some day.
What you say, and how you say it, expresses your love for your pet rather than your need for a pet. This gives your companion permission to leave instead of trying to hang on for your sake. I believe that animals understand more of these matters than most of us imagine. And even if they don’t, I will give them the benefit of the doubt. Of this I am sure: Our pets will know from our tone of voice that we love them, that we will be with them to the end, and that there is ultimately nothing to fear.
If you can, be with your pet when he is euthanized. This is too painful for some and it is important to accept what you can and cannot do. Before you make the decision about being present at the time of death, or not, please ask yourself this: As hard as it will be to observe your pet’s death, will it be even more difficult to live with the unanswered questions of not knowing what the end was like? Were the last moments peaceful? Did the end come quickly? I have always taken comfort in knowing that the last voice my beloved friends heard was my own. There is no right and wrong here. Only you can decide whether or not to witness your pet’s death.
The decision to euthanize provides a painless release from agony and can ensure us that the last moments we share with our pets are tranquil, not tormented. The word euthanasia comes from the Greek words eu thanatos meaning good death. Euthanasia is a compassionate response to prevent or stop the suffering of one who filled our days with joy. It is, in the end, our final act of caring.
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SOLO'S LEGACY
If you love me, let me go. Unknown Source
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I have always shared my life with cats. Many years ago I started feeding a scruffy orange and white stray. At first there was no rhythm to his appearances but he soon began showing up on a regular basis. He was thin and afraid. I asked about him around my neighborhood and learned that he had been surviving alone on the streets for at least three years. Because he looked so lonely, I named him SoLo.
Over time, and with much work, Solo trusted me enough that I was able to take him to the veterinarian for shots and a bath. When we came home, I decided to find out how he would adjust to the house. I opened the carrier and he plopped on the couch like he had always lived there. From that moment on, Solo became an indoor cat and good friend. Even if I opened the door and invited him out, he would sit on his favorite rug and refuse to budge.
Solo thrived and he became a beautiful majestic fellow. For six months we enjoyed each other’s company and I grew to love him very much. Then one day I noticed bleeding gums. After a few tests, the vet told me that Solo had feline leukemia. There was no cure and it was a bad death. The doctor suggested euthanasia. I had known this wonderful cat for less than a year. It wasn’t fair. I couldn’t do it.
For the next three months, I chose aggressive treatment to keep Solo alive while I watched him fade into a frail shadow. Most animals have strong survival instincts that drive them to cling to life against all odds. I also believe they possess an inborn sense that tells them when it is time to let go. On a particularly bad day Solo looked at me with soulful eyes and softly meowed, as if to implore, “Please. Please stop the suffering.” I called the vet's office and Solo took his final breath later that afternoon cradled in my arms.
I made a promise to myself, and to Solo, on that day so many years ago: I would never again place my need to hang on above my pet’s need to let go. Solo probably had acquired leukemia before we met. He had come to me for a good death and I nearly failed him. The lesson was painful but it is one that I cannot forget. Many amazing cats have graced my life since then--some for a short while, some for many years. Because of Solo’s legacy, when the sad time arrives to make a decision, I can love them enough to set them free.
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To learn more about safe and humane help for stray cats in your neighborhood,
please visit Alley Cat Allies at www.alleycat.org. Use your back button to return here.
I also recommend The Stray Cat Handbook by Tamara Kreuz, Wiley Publishing, 1999. Practical and compassionate, the author shows us how to make a difference in the lives of frightened and suffering strays, one cat at a time. The book gets five-star reader reviews at online bookstores.
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HOW OLD IS YOUR CAT IN HUMAN YEARS?
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A dog ages approximately seven human years for every one year of his life, so if you have a two year-old dog, he is a 14 year-old teenager. The aging of cats is more complicated. According to the Tufts University School of Veterinary Medicine, your cat ages like this:
--CAT-------HUMAN
1 month-----5-6 months
2 months----9-10 months
3 months----2-3 years
4 months----5-6 years
5 months----8-9 years
6 months----14 years
7 months----15 years
8 months----16 years
1 year------18 years
2 years-----25 years
3 years-----30 years
4 years-----35 years
5 years-----38-40 years
6 years-----42-44 years
7 years-----45 years
8 years-----48 years
9 years-----55 years
10 years----60 years
11 years----62 years
12 years----65 years
13 years----68 years
14 years----72 years
15 years----74 years
16 years----76 years
17 years----78 years
18 years----80 years
Over 20? A stately senior citizen...
Tufts publishes Catnip, a newsletter for caring cat owners. Here you will find archived pet care topics including aging and related illnesses, making the decision to euthanize, and grieving the death of your beloved pet. Link does not open a new window. Please use your back button to return here.
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BIBLIOGRAPHY / RECOMMENDED READING:
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Chiffolo, Anthony and Rayner W. Hesse, Jr. We Thank You, God, for These: Blessings and Prayers for Family Pets. New York: The Paulist Press, 2003.
Kowalski, Gary. Goodbye, Friend: Healing Wisdom for Anyone Who Has Ever Lost a Pet. Walpole, New Hampshire: Stillpoint Publishing, 1997.
Montgomery, Mary and Herb. Good-bye, My Friend: Grieving the Loss of a Pet. Minneapolis, MN: Montgomery Press, 1991, 8th Printing 1997.
Montgomery, Mary and Herb. A Final Act of Caring: Ending the Life of an Animal Friend. Minneapolis, MN: Montgomery Press, 1993, 4th Printing 1998.
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PET LOSS LINKS
All links below open new windows.
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My E-mail: TheGrievingHeart@aol.com
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All things bright and beautiful,
All creatures great and small.
All things wise and wonderful,
The Lord God made them all.
Cecil Frances Alexander
© Copyright 2008 Christine Jette. All rights reserved.
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